Once again, like every day last week, today I got home from work, fed myself, and then sat down to write. I do have moments throughout the day when I ponder possible topics, but once my bottom hits the sofa, none of them seems appropriate. Today I was home a little earlier than usual so I decided to put on a movie as background noise. I went to the closet, looked through my DVDs, and chose Never Been Kissed. I hadn’t seen it in a really long time, but I’ve seen it enough that I wouldn’t be distracted wondering what happens next.
The movie started and I started reading other slices in the hope that I would be struck with inspiration for a topic. Sadly, my computer seems to hate me at times, and this was one of those times. It was spinning and thinking and stalling – taking forever to complete basic functions. I had no choice but to pay attention to the television in between tasks so as not to become impatient and lose my temper. Then I was really dismayed because my background noise, this old, comfortable, nostalgic movie was… ridiculous.
The movie was so preposterous that I was fairly certain that I would not be able to keep it on. In fact, I was going to have to throw out the DVD. I was waiting for my comment to post and I looked up just in time for the club scene. So, first of all, who goes to a club where you can be 16 or 25 or sitting on the sofa eating ganja cake? And what English teacher is super excited to see his high school student at this club while he’s standing there holding two beers? And then just good-naturedly laughs when that student, who is now high from ganja cake, is up on stage making a complete fool of herself? And how is the guy in the van who is watching everything from the hidden camera on the pin on her chest able to laugh at her dancing? He can’t see her from that camera!! Awful! Just terrible!
The movie only goes downhill from there, but my comment finally posts and I’m able to get back to work so I don’t get up and turn it off and destroy the painfully embarrassing DVD. Still, my computer continues to be difficult so there are other times when I’m forced to focus on the movie. Until, I realize that I’m at the end of the movie. That last scene when she’s standing on the pitcher’s mound waiting for Michael Vartan to come out and give Drew her first kiss. The clock is counting down. The crowd is cheering. We’re all set up for the happy ending. The movie viewer is starting to reflect on her own life and how many times she has put the pressure of a metaphorical countdown timer on events, tasks, people in her life and quit at the sound of the buzzer. And Drew Barrymore’s time runs out, just as the viewer’s time has run out so many times in life. Tears are streaming down her face as she empathizes with Barrymore’s pain and embarrassment. But, wait… the crowd starts to cheer. The camera pans around the stands. There he is! Michael Vartan! So young and attractive with that innocent smile – not the smile of a teacher who was hitting on his student just two scenes ago. He runs onto the field and immediately engages Barrymore in a passionate kiss. The viewer grabs a tissue to wipe her cheeks.
Damn it! Sucked in again! The movie is over and I don’t have one word written. No worries, Pitch Perfect will certainly do the trick!